Monday, December 17, 2007

While perusing a box of scallops at work today I discovered clear evidence of over unity.

That's right, for every 100g of product there is 106g of sugars. So all we have to do if feed scallops to scallops and we'll be able to power the whole world. I'm sure it won't be long before the government and the evil seafood industry cover up this amazing discovery.

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Sunday, December 16, 2007

Many of the activities reported in the bible, or The Bible, sound like fiction. Probably because they are. Homeopathy, however, perfectly explains many of these so called miracles.

Water into wine
If a modern homeopath can convince a believer that a bottle of water will cure <
insert any condition here>. Then, how hard can it be to convince a bunch of people, who have already bought into the story of you being the son of Santa Claus god, that what they are drinking is really wine and not water. Especially when they have already been hitting the wine all day long at a wedding.

Loaves and fishes
Two fish, five loaves, five thousand people, not counting women and children. Sounds impossible right? Wrong. Any competent homeopath would simply succuss a 10C preparation and suddenly you've got plenty for everyone. Jesus could even knock up some wine to help wash it all down.

I particularly like the way Jesus gathers a heap of people together; doesn't bother to organise catering; then sends his heavies out to steal a child's food. He then hands that food out and takes all the credit. What a prick.

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