Newsflash: Nothing Happened

Fuck, I'm sick of these cunts trapped in the mine in Tasmania. Sure it's sad, boo fucking hoo, but do we really need hourly updates to tell us that fuck all has changed. I don't think so. I was trying to watch a shit movie, the last ten minutes of which had a big graphic superimposed just in case I might not know there was no developments at all. Fuck off with that, I can't see the blonde giving wolverine a gobbie, cunts.

Here's a small tip for the television networks, if you are going to have people on location don't pick the most personality free vapid shit winkles you have on staff. I'm sick of them talking to deer in the headlights, omg I'm on tv witless fucktards who once saw one of the two miners in the local supermarket. Who gives a rats arse.

This sort of wankfull live television does make for plenty of top quotes though. The dim bint on channel nine has just said that they've had to resort to old fashioned mining such as picks, shovels and jack hammers. Yes, ye olde cornish miners used jack hammers all the time. Excellent for the delicate work.

Has anyone been counting the number of times the news ancwhores have said iPod? Every chance they get they mention that someone has given the miners some iPods. Have apple gotten in on the game, maybe this whole thing was staged just to sell iPods. I can't wait to see the marketing campaign. The funny thing is that the guy actually asked for an apple. The cunts in charge where just more concerned about product placement than nutrition.

Ahh thank fuck, the important news update is over, and suprise suprise, nothing at all has happened, wow. Back to the shitty movie now.