Psychic Has A Whale Of A Time

I suppose it isn't that hard to believe that a psychic would use a whale calf starving to death to grab some publicity. After all they do it when people have been murdered and children have gone missing.

A whale calf was euthanised in New South Wales this week after it was separated from its mother. Several radio news segments I heard in the days leading up to the calf's death mentioned offers of help from psychics. I assume they would use their powers to ask the calf if it knew where it lived or where its mum worked. It's a great example of how psychics will interfere when time is of the essence.

There was a far greater uproar from normal people than there was from the psychics though. People seem to like whales a lot and the thought of one dying upsets a lot of people. There were countless calls to "do something". What options are available though?

• Use a spotter plane to find some more whales and lead the calf to them in the hopes that there is a lactating female in the group that will adopt the calf. Possible but not very probable.
• Feed the calf by hand and release it into the wild at some stage. Also possible but the calf would have no social or survival skills, at best it would just postpone its death.
• Feed the calf and keep it in a tank for the rest of its life. Do we really need more animals in cages to dance for our amusement?

The kindest option, although not the easiest to watch, is to let things take their course. It happens every day where we can't see it and we do nothing. There is no reason to feel guilty now just because it is in range of the television cameras.

Or, if you aren't happy with that you could do what some other folks have done and blame Kevin Rudd for the whole affair.

One Nation: The Voice Of The (stupid) People

I've been doing a bit of reading this week to familiarise myself with the policies of all the candidates I can vote for in the upcoming federal election. There are quite a few new organisations such as the Secular Party Of Australia so it's important to find out what everyone stands for and get those Senate preferences in order.

I was a little surprised by the quality of the One Nation policy document. It was much lower than I had expected. It was also a lot funnier than I was expecting, check it out, it's comedy gold.

It starts off well by promoting the concept of citizens initiated referenda. That could be a good thing, let the people have more of a say and also keep them more engaged in the politics and running of the country.

Sadly, it's all down hill from there. Be warned, it may not be safe to read the full document without the protection of a tin foil hat and some crystals.

Here's a summary of some of One Nations views:

• Peak Oil is a conspiracy, we'll never run out because it isn't made from ye olde forests after all, it's made from magma.
• Everyone should have guns to defend themselves with.
• Global warming is made up because biologists and dietitians are scientists too man and they don't agree with the climatologists.
• Don't let any of those foreign folks in.
• We don't need taxes we'll just take 1% from every bank withdrawal to run the country. Cueing a massive switch to a cash economy and triggering a huge collapse of the economy.

The other common themes across several parties were, porn = bad, guns = good. I'm not sure if the two concepts are related though.

While I got a good laugh out of the One Nation policies I was also embarrassed that a party based on such paranoid gibberish can find people to support them. I'll be numbering all the boxes on my Senate ballot just so I can have the pleasure of putting One Nation dead fucking last.

Manly Men Don't Want To Keep It Bottled Up

Channel Ten News just had a story about the Manly council proposing a ban on bottled water. Apparently bottled water has a bigger 'carbon footprint' than tap water. I think this is a superb idea and not in any way retarded. Next we should get rid of cars because they wear larger carbon shoes than bicycles and follow that up with the abolition of long pants in favour of more environmentally friendly shorts and kilts.

Does the Ten Network show stories like this to try and discredit environmentalists? Instead of talking about science and facts they go for the 'oh look at what the crazy greenie said this time' angle. Making it harder for scientists and environmentalists to get serious points across.

Yesterday they had a story with Federal Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry, Peter McGauran. He was again stating how much he hates wind turbines. From this story I learnt that wind farms only produce about 8% of their capacity, are very noisy and nobody wants them built anywhere near them. I'm surprised he didn't pull out the one about them causing epilepsy.

Combine that with his past claim that wind farms don't generate any measurable amounts of electricity and I'm starting to wonder if a windmill killed his parents and he's harboured a deep resentment of them ever since. Or perhaps he actually believes these lies.

Maybe he should stick to the sheep, fish and trees and leave everything else to the grownups.

So, is it the fault of the media for showing these idiots without providing any facts to allow viewers to learn the truth of the matter. Or is it the fault of the idiots for being idiots and talking shit about things they know nothing about?

Look out McGauran, it's got a taste for blood and it's coming to get you.

Beaten To The Punch

Just in case last weeks ENAR device wasn't scamtastic enough Channel Nine's program A Current Affair has followed up with some more gold standard quackery. This time it's a magic drink that will solve all your blood pressure woes.

The product is called Dr Red and is a cordial made from many ingredients including Rosselle, a species of hibiscus. The usual claims were made regarding the existence of supporting evidence and trials. The evidence is pretty thin though. After reading the information presented about the trials I was only able to conclude that this punch doesn't kill mice. Hardly a breakthrough.

I assume that Channel Nine will push any product if given enough cash. It would certainly explain all the product placement and infomercial style of the segment. Or perhaps they just don't do too much research into their stories. Either way it is worrying that so much bunk is being broadcast.

You can see the segment on the ACA website. My favourite part is a close shot of the bottle where we can read on the label:

Antioxidant Enriched
Evidence Based
Rosella Concentrate

Still, at just $53.00 for a 750ml bottle it's a bargain. Regular cordial is only $3.00 but that has a fruit base which is easier to get in the bottle than an evidence base.

Beverages are also available to aid your immune system and your prostate. It looks like this company has solved mankind's health dilemmas single handed. We should all thank the nutraceuticals industry for allowing us to pay prescription prices for everyday grocery items.

In contrast, as I'm writing this Channel Ten news is running a story about Chinese herbs. The segment is about a study being conducted to see if particular herbs lower blood sugar. Unlike A Current Affair they don't mention a brand name and vague unsupported claims to try and sell units. Maybe they could teach Channel Nine the difference between science and shite.

Now I'm off to have a nice glass of evidence based milk.

So ENAR Yet So Far

Another nugget of gold from A Current Affair. This time they are promoting health fraud in the form of the ENAR.

The ENAR is a small device that looks much like a remote control. The promoters claim that it can relieve pain.

Why do I think it is a scam? A few reasons, the first warning sign was the stated origin of the technology. Scammers often claim fantastic origins for their devices to make them sound more astounding. The ENAR has its origins in the Russian space program. Apparently.

Second major warning sign came in the form of research. It's standard practise to claim that a university or noted scientist has proven the efficacy of a product when really it's all bullshit. In this case the research comes from Macquarie University. Now, this part isn't bullshit, the study really does exist. Does it prove the ENAR works? No. The study was not double blinded and the grand total of subjects to be treated with the ENAR? Nine. Yup, just nine people. Can you get statistically significant results with such a small group. Again, I'm going to say no.

Third warning sign? My grandmother had a device very similar to this given to her over ten years ago. Just like the perpetual motion machines this looks like an old scam that is being given a fresh coat of paint.

Maybe this device does work and is very effective. I don't really care if it works or not. What I do care about is television networks promoting health treatments when there is only the thinnest shimmer of evidence to support the very large claims and the very large $1400 price tag of these devices.

The Secret

Top work from Channel Nine. A Current Affair just had a story about a con man ripping people off under the cover of running seminars based on the abortion of intellect that is The Secret.

Now that doesn't sound that bad until you realise that Channel Nine produced The Secret movie. So they help create the phenomenon and then they pick on the people who are using it to scam idiots. There is no other purpose for The Secret other than parting people from their money so I'm not sure why they are so suprised.

For those of you who have no idea what The Secret is it is basically praying for money. Perfect for the shallow, trendy, entitled people and the idiots who feed on them.

Newsflash: Nothing Happened

Fuck, I'm sick of these cunts trapped in the mine in Tasmania. Sure it's sad, boo fucking hoo, but do we really need hourly updates to tell us that fuck all has changed. I don't think so. I was trying to watch a shit movie, the last ten minutes of which had a big graphic superimposed just in case I might not know there was no developments at all. Fuck off with that, I can't see the blonde giving wolverine a gobbie, cunts.

Here's a small tip for the television networks, if you are going to have people on location don't pick the most personality free vapid shit winkles you have on staff. I'm sick of them talking to deer in the headlights, omg I'm on tv witless fucktards who once saw one of the two miners in the local supermarket. Who gives a rats arse.

This sort of wankfull live television does make for plenty of top quotes though. The dim bint on channel nine has just said that they've had to resort to old fashioned mining such as picks, shovels and jack hammers. Yes, ye olde cornish miners used jack hammers all the time. Excellent for the delicate work.

Has anyone been counting the number of times the news ancwhores have said iPod? Every chance they get they mention that someone has given the miners some iPods. Have apple gotten in on the game, maybe this whole thing was staged just to sell iPods. I can't wait to see the marketing campaign. The funny thing is that the guy actually asked for an apple. The cunts in charge where just more concerned about product placement than nutrition.

Ahh thank fuck, the important news update is over, and suprise suprise, nothing at all has happened, wow. Back to the shitty movie now.

If your child is a drug mule...

then chances are you're an ass.

If your child is arrested with a huge stash of smack taped to them who would you blame? Your child for being a drug trafficing tool, or the Australian Federal Police.

Obviously the AFP where out of line. How dare they share information with their Indonesian counterparts. It was inconsiderate of them to be so professional and internationally minded.

If the opposite had happened and information was not shared, these same fuckers would be complaining about Indonesian drug dealers poisoning their precious kids with their filthy heroin.

It's a shame that they are only going to shoot the kids, not the parents.