Who Needs An Ambulance When You Have Homeopathy?

A while ago I posted about homeopathic first aid kits. I was, of course, taking the piss; so I was a bit surprised to see someone offering a homeopathic first aid course to the public.

I suppose if you burnt yourself you could tip the water from the homeopathic potion bottles on yourself. Or if you encounter someone with hypoglycaemia you could feed them some of your handy sugar pills.

There are many similar courses available claiming they can prepare you to deal with a wide range of emergency situations. Insect bites, allergic reactions, burns, whiplash, cuts and plenty of other maladies.

Homeopathy is based on the concept that 'like cures like'. Which means that these clever homeopaths must have little bottles of diluted knives and car crashes to treat cuts and whiplash with.

The most disappointing discovery was that TAFE colleges are offering such courses. That's a great use of public funds. I wonder if you can do a course in entrail reading at the same time.

It's bad enough that Homeopaths can freely bilk people with no legal reprisals without TAFE and, indirectly, the government endorsing and even promoting such ridiculous quackery.

So the next time that peanut allergy sends you into anaphylactic shock, don't worry about the adrenalin, all you need is a bottle of magic water and you'll be up and about in no time.

Homeopathic Emergency Kit

Ever been worried about getting involved in an accident? Well you are right to worry, I learned a shocking fact today. Paramedics have no training in homeopathy. When they arrive at an accident scene they can only use ineffectual 'proven' medical techniques based in 'science'.

This knowledge was so frightening that I've created the Homeopathic Emergency Kit that you can carry with you at all times. It contains the following essential items;


Distilled water: This handy liquid can be used to make any homeopathic remedy in an instant.


Sugar: Need a slighty more substantial remedy? Try these individual servings of sugar. They'll cure everything from cancer to hypothermia.


Blindfold: Just in case you encounter a patient who isn't a gullible twat or your own accident restores your common sense I've included this handy blindfold to help you fool yourself into thinking that homeopathy is something more than water and sugar pills.

This whole kit costs only $39.95, less than a single consultation with a homeopath. If you are a gullible fuckwit who thinks homeopathy isn't a load of crap then please leave your credit card details in the comments and I'll ship you your kit right away.