A Succussfull Life: Nudity

Homeopathic (adjective): Something too small to function that true
believers claim is full of hidden power; if only you'd try it.

One Nation: The Voice Of The (stupid) People

I've been doing a bit of reading this week to familiarise myself with the policies of all the candidates I can vote for in the upcoming federal election. There are quite a few new organisations such as the Secular Party Of Australia so it's important to find out what everyone stands for and get those Senate preferences in order.

I was a little surprised by the quality of the One Nation policy document. It was much lower than I had expected. It was also a lot funnier than I was expecting, check it out, it's comedy gold.

It starts off well by promoting the concept of citizens initiated referenda. That could be a good thing, let the people have more of a say and also keep them more engaged in the politics and running of the country.

Sadly, it's all down hill from there. Be warned, it may not be safe to read the full document without the protection of a tin foil hat and some crystals.

Here's a summary of some of One Nations views:

• Peak Oil is a conspiracy, we'll never run out because it isn't made from ye olde forests after all, it's made from magma.
• Everyone should have guns to defend themselves with.
• Global warming is made up because biologists and dietitians are scientists too man and they don't agree with the climatologists.
• Don't let any of those foreign folks in.
• We don't need taxes we'll just take 1% from every bank withdrawal to run the country. Cueing a massive switch to a cash economy and triggering a huge collapse of the economy.

The other common themes across several parties were, porn = bad, guns = good. I'm not sure if the two concepts are related though.

While I got a good laugh out of the One Nation policies I was also embarrassed that a party based on such paranoid gibberish can find people to support them. I'll be numbering all the boxes on my Senate ballot just so I can have the pleasure of putting One Nation dead fucking last.

Who Needs An Ambulance When You Have Homeopathy?

A while ago I posted about homeopathic first aid kits. I was, of course, taking the piss; so I was a bit surprised to see someone offering a homeopathic first aid course to the public.

I suppose if you burnt yourself you could tip the water from the homeopathic potion bottles on yourself. Or if you encounter someone with hypoglycaemia you could feed them some of your handy sugar pills.

There are many similar courses available claiming they can prepare you to deal with a wide range of emergency situations. Insect bites, allergic reactions, burns, whiplash, cuts and plenty of other maladies.

Homeopathy is based on the concept that 'like cures like'. Which means that these clever homeopaths must have little bottles of diluted knives and car crashes to treat cuts and whiplash with.

The most disappointing discovery was that TAFE colleges are offering such courses. That's a great use of public funds. I wonder if you can do a course in entrail reading at the same time.

It's bad enough that Homeopaths can freely bilk people with no legal reprisals without TAFE and, indirectly, the government endorsing and even promoting such ridiculous quackery.

So the next time that peanut allergy sends you into anaphylactic shock, don't worry about the adrenalin, all you need is a bottle of magic water and you'll be up and about in no time.